Alligator--elsewhere you allude to the bit of A Moveable Feast in which F. Scott Fitzgerald gets so worried about the size of his penis that he makes Ernest Hemingway look at it. The scene in question:
Finally when we were eating the cherry tart and had a last carafe of wine he said, 'You know I never slept with anyone except Zelda.'
'No, I didn't.'
'I thought I had told you.'
'No. You told me a lot of things but not that.'
'That is what I have to ask you about.'
'Good. Go on.'
'Zelda said that the way I was built I could never make any woman happy and that was what upset her originally. She said it was a matter of measurements. I have never felt the same since she said that and I have to know truly.'
'Come out to the office,' I said.
...
We came back into the room and sat down at the table.
'You're perfectly fine, I said. 'You are O.K. There's nothing wrong with you. You look at yourself from above and you look foreshortened. Go over to the Louvre and look at the people in the statues and then go home and look at yourself in the mirror in profile.'
'Those statues may not be accurate.'
'They are pretty good. Most people would settle for them.'
They end up going to the Louvre together and talking about why Zelda would say something like that.
